If you Can’t Take the Heat, Stay Out of the Board Room

The poison pill, or the “Pill” as it is known on Wall Street, is just one of Marty Lipton’s groundbreaking and innovative means of thwarting hostile corporate takeovers. Marty’s cache of takeover defenses includes the use of complex derivatives, “golden handcuffs,” and yes, jalapeno peppers. You heard me. Jalapeno peppers! In 1983, Marty stonewalled a potentially devastating “LBO” using nothing more than canned jalapeno peppers that you would find in an order of ballpark nachos. Inviting the corporate raider (who will go unnamed) to WLRK’s midtown Manhattan offices, Lipton challenged the prominent financier to a jalapeno eating contest. After some goading, the Gordon Gecko wannabe accepted Lipton’s challenge. This would prove to be fatal! The corporate looter consumed about a dozen peppers before throwing in the towel. In line with his board room showboating, Lipton continued consuming jalapenos for at least 45 more minutes, declining even the smallest sip of water. According to one witness “Marty must have eaten over 400 of those f***ing things if he ate one.” Over 400 fu**ing jalapeno peppers! While Lipton would never again have the opportunity to use Mexican foodstuffs in the high stakes world of high finance, would be corporate raiders were on notice of Lipton and his no-nonsense approach.