Paging Dr. Lipton, Dr. Lipton

For those of you keeping score at home, let it be know: Marty Lipton invented the poison pill. That's right, he invented it!! Marty Lipton is an inventor. This, of course, begs the question--does Marty Lipton have a laboratory?

Well, the answer is simple--he must. After all, he IS an inventor (he invented the poison pill). We can only venture to guess, but we imagine that Marty's laboratory, perhaps located deep underground beneath 51 West 52nd Street, might possibly (but probably doesn't really) contain the following items:

-Stuffed animal heads (mounted on the walls) that Mr. Lipton may or may not have stuffed himself during his reported taxidermy craze in the early 1990's;

-A 20 x 20 foot parkay dance floor, used to practice ballroom and salsa dancing (as well as the occasional "mashed potato-off" with Paul Roth (the New York bar's "master" of the mashed potato);

-The Panda suit donned by Joe Flom during the infamous "panda suit incident" in the late 1980's;

-A complete set of "Corbin on Contracts":


-A professional grade chemistry set (including 25 test tubes and at least 15 pyrex beakers), that Mr. Lipton uses to create and test his newest legal innovations;

-A glass case enclosing/protecting the single peppercorn that Mr. Lipton purportedly once received as his solitary remuneration for defending against an LBO (he was testing the legal concept of consideration);

-A laboratory assistant named Herbert (who may or may not also be the head of The Law Firm of Marty Lipton's famed med-mal practice group);

-A defective Pinto that we hear Mr. Lipton is trying to restore;

-VHS copies of every episode of "Inside the Actors' Studio";

-Jumper cables;

-A refrigerator full of soda and cold treats;

There you have it. What we can only guess may very well be the contents of Mr. Liptons (most likely non-existent) laboratory.