Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Fro Yo Update # 2

One of our spy's at Skadden (in the accounts receivable department) informs us that the firm has refused delivery of WLRK's fabled "fro yo" machine (now serving chocolate-vanilla swirls!), instead opting to send it on to Paul Roth as a charitable gift. While lay-persons might interpret this 331H-10 election simply as a means by which to take a large charitable write-off, we here at the Poison Pill know the situation to me much more complex. Indeed, we hear that Joe Flom "loves the dairy products" but that the dairy products "don't love him." Yes, that's right, we hear that Joe Flom is lactose intolerant.

Now, this wouldn't on its own be a de facto reason for Skadden to refuse to accept delivery of a fro yo machine, but apparently Mr. Flom--known for not having invented the poison pill--has a soft spot for frozen yogurt despite the fact that it is said to make him farty and bloated. When he heard that Skadden would be receiving the fro yo machine--one donated by Marty Lipton nonetheless--we hear from our fake source that he threw a temper tantrum, both because of his (fictional) feud with Marty Lipton, and because he knew that, if available in the Skadden Cafeteria, he wouldn't be able to resist the appeal of that sugary sweet nectar, regardless of its effect on his digestive system (including the colon!). As such, we are told that Mr. Flom ordered two junior associates in the tax department to "burn the midnight oil" and stay long past closing time (1 am) to design a transaction in which they could obtain a tax write off for the machine, while at the same time passing on what he believes to be an "evil" yogurt dispenser, to Paul Roth, who is known more for his accumen at the "mashed potato" than his love for frozen concoctions, but appears to enjoy a good snow-cone every once in a while as well.

We wish Mr. Roth and his minions good luck with the fro-yo machine, and recommend having rainbow sprinkles available at all times to make the experience "extra fun."

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